One More Miracle for Me
by Noellicorn
Summary: After the Doctor takes River to the Singing Towers of Darillium, he is sure it is the last time he will see her. When a younger version of River shows up looking for something the Doctor can't give her, but she gives the Doctor the one thing he truly needs.


The Doctor sites alone in the console room, in deep thought. He was by himself again, Amy and Rory gone, and he had just spent his last day with River. He had long hoped to never reach the time when he would go with River to Darillium to see the singing towers. He had dreaded the moment he would give River his screwdriver, and say goodbye to her for the very last time. However, he knew it had to happen, time could be rewritten, but he would never change a thing. So River went to the Library, where she met a version of himself that had no idea who she was. Where she sacrifices herself to save him, and all the memories they had. There was no changing it, she is dead.

The pain that he feels, a deep ache that courses throughout his veins. Amplified at every beat of his hearts, the pain of 1100 years of gaining and losing friends, lovers, companions. 'I had to go fall in love with her', he thinks, 'I should've learnt by now, the damage love can do to someone like me.' He thinks how the term star-crossed lovers could never have been used more accurately, then right now. He thinks of how he hates starting over, travelling alone for months, maybe years before he finds someone to come along with him. "Maybe I should just travel alone, I hurt too many people this way." he says, aloud though nobody is around to hear the sorrow in his voice.

Suddenly, there is a knock on the TARDIS door. "But there, can't be, we're in space." He cried out. He dashes down the steps and to the door, throwing it open. Outside the TARDIS doors, was an impossible figure in a sleek purple dress and black heels.

"Hello Sweetie, River Song at your service." she said, strutting into the TARDIS. The Doctor stood shocked and confused. He watched her walk confidently up to the console, she threw her handbag onto the chair. The Doctor followed her, gazing at her in astonishment.

"Is it really you?" he stammered.

"The one and only." She smiles. The Doctor examines her, looking for some understanding. He wonders if she could have survived. Did she escape the computer database he stored her in? It seemed impossible.

"But you went to the library," He insists. River glances at him suspiciously, and walks closer to him.

"I've been to many libraries in my life," she laughs slightly. "But none of them good enough to keep me away from you." The Doctor realizes his mistake, Darillium was not the last time. Though River might have died in the Library, an younger version of her had still found him. He wasn't sure he could handle this. Attempting to appear normal, he smiles and shakes his head.

"Never mind that, I'm just being stupid. Big head, full of... things." he says, forcing a cheerful tone.

She laughs,"So how are you, love? I've missed you". She gazes into his eyes and smirks. The Doctor hesitates and breaks eye contact.

"I've been...fine." He murmurs, unable to forge a better lie. He looks back at her and smiles weakly, "So where are we then?" He asks, desperate to change the subject.

"We just stopped all of time from disintegrating, through our wedding." she smiles seductively.

The Doctor grins, his first sincere smile for quite a long time, "Ah yes! I love that one, one of my favourites." He glances at her, and she giggles. He starts fiddling with the TARDIS controls and says, without looking at River, "So do you have any particular reason for dropping by? You usually do. No planets about to explode or evil alien races about to take over the universe?" He questioned in mock silliness. She sighs, "No nothing like that. Can't a girl simply miss her timelord every once in a while?" She purrs, moving closer to the Doctor who was still bent over the controls.

He straightens up, but avoids her eyes still, "Of course you can, I miss you all the time. Always wondering off on me. One day your going to get into trouble. She smirks suggestively, and places her hand lightly on the Doctor's arm.

"Well, maybe you need to punish me then..."

The Doctor scratches his head awkwardly and shrugs off River's hand. "River, I-I'd love to but-" he trails off.

River looks a him and moves closer."What is it, love?" she asks, concerned.

He shakes his head, "It's nothing. I've just had a very difficult day... I-I've lost someone..." She frowns and walks closer to him. She hugs hugs him, and he returns it squeezing her tightly. Feeling the warmth he never thought he would feel from her again. "I love you River." He whispers.

He feels his emotions taking over him, all the pain and heartbreak washes over him. He wanted to be strong, for her. For the actual last time with her, he didn't want her to see him like this, see him lose control. He starts crying silently. River pulls back and stares deep into his eyes, she wipes his tears away. The Doctor sees the compassion in her eyes, and it pains him so much. That compassion will kill her, but it's what makes her the wonderful woman he so deeply loves.

"I love you too, sweetie." The care in her voice could lighten his soul on any other day but today. Now her tenderness was like knives cutting deeper gashes into his already wounded and broken body. The pain of knowing he killed her is nearly impossible to live with, but speaking to her now, so unaware of the future. She looks at him and sees herself spending a lifetime with the Doctor, as all the companions do. And just like all the others, she never gets the chance. It drives him mad to think of all the hurt he has caused, all the lives he has taken, the hearts he's broken.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it, do the lives I save outweigh the ones I take? Can I make that choice? Am I doing what's right? He looked to her desperately, pleading for the answer he knew she'd give. Asking her permission. It only seemed like the right thing to do.

"Of course you are," she said lovingly, looking deep into his eyes. She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Is it worth it, do you think. The people who travel with me, do you think it's worth it in the end?" He begged her to tell him, he needed to know. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if she said anything but yes.

"Of course it is, darling. You make people better, you change lives. Of course it's worth it." He sighs in relief and gives a small smile. River smiles back widely, she flutters her eyelashes a bit and gives him her best puppy dog eyes. The Doctor can't help but swoon a little, the effect she has on him is unlike any other.

"You have no idea what you do to me River," She smiles even brighter and kisses him softly. The Doctor kisses beck, more passionately, knowing this could really be the end. This wasn't a curse, it was a gift. One last moment with River, the universe is big and sometimes there really _are _miracles.

River kisses deeper, pressing herself against him, grabbing his hair. She pushes him against the console and attempts to take off his jacket. The Doctor breaks the kiss and pushes her off him. He couldn't do this, she is dead. He needed to let go.

"No, I can't do this. I'm sorry. We're married now, there will be plenty of time for _that_ later." He vows. She looks deep into his eyes, and raises an eyebrow.

"Promise?" The Doctor nods sullenly, this, however, did not seem to discourage River."I'm going to hold you to that." She says, teasingly. He stroked he console in thought for a moment, his face lined with shadows.

"So should I drop you off somewhere? I can think of a few times and places, you might be able to get what you really want from me." He suggested, not really willing to see her go just yet, but knowing it would be better for both of them. She was still young, they were just married, she didn't want a sullen Doctor. She deserves better.

River lit up at the suggestion. "What do you mean by that, Doctor?" She asked him curiously.

"Well I know one place you showed up at rather, mysteriously, and well you seemed keen on doing... certain things." He looked at her to find her smiling brightly.

"Oh you know me to well, sweetie." She chuckled.

"More than you could ever know," He replied sadly, starring off into space for a moment.

He suddenly jumped to life running about, throwing switches pressing buttons, and typing rapidly on the keyboard. He looks at River, and is warmed up just a bit, just enough for one more sincere smile. "All right then! To Giloripa, planet of the thousand moons!" He calls out, as energetically as he can muster, and throws the materialization lever. River smiles back at him, laughing. For a second, as the TARDIS rattles around violently and they both cling tightly to the console to stay on their feet, it's like old times again. River shouting about how that TARDIS is being flown wrong, the Doctor shouts, "It's my TARDIS! I can fly her however I like."

The TARDIS lands roughly and throws them both to the ground, laughing. The Doctor pulls himself up and offers River a hand. She accepts gladly and he escorts her to the door, opening it for her.

"Thank you, my love." she says. The Doctor kisses her softly one last time. He knew it was over, that this was really the end. It broke his hearts more that he thought possible. It hurt him so much, and yet she gave him permission, and she forgives him. River Song, the mad, impossible River Song, came back for one last little miracle. And so the Doctor broke the kiss and said his final words to her, the words he had always found so hard to say. The words he never got to say.

"Goodbye River, I love you." his voice, no louder than a whisper, because it didn't need to be. Everything that needed to be said had been said. She simply nodded and smiled.

"Goodbye, sweetie. I love you too" She blows him a kiss and walks out the door. He watches her leave, watches her fade into the distance until she could be seen no more. He closes the TARDIS doors and bursts into tears.


End file.
